Defector

Defector — The Shaman Who Decided Penguins Are the Universal Solution Defector was once one of the most respected shamans of the northern tribes. He spoke with spirits. Called down lightning. Predicted fate. He could meditate on top of a glacier for three days without saying a word. Then one day, he turned a mighty enemy warlord into a penguin. And realized: “Why do I even need the other spells?” From that day on, his magical philosophy became much simpler. A knight in legendary armor? Penguin. An ancient demon who has lived for ten thousand years? Penguin. An enemy mage capable of wiping out half the board with one ability? Also penguin. Defector calls it: “Tactical reduction of enemy combat potential.” Everyone else calls it: “The old man turned our carry into a bird again.” Long ago, Defector’s shamanic rituals were complicated. He had to light seven fires, draw sacred runes, offer gifts to the spirits, and wait for a full moon. Now the ritual looks more like this: Defector stares at the enemy. Raises his staff. Says: “I don’t like you.” POOF. Penguin. At first, the other shamans thought his new magic was ridiculous. One elder even said: “A great shaman should not turn his enemies into silly birds.” A few seconds later, the elder was standing next to him. As a penguin. After that, criticism dropped dramatically. And so his famous ability was born — HEX. The victim loses their weapon. Forgets their spells. Can’t attack properly. But they do gain tiny wings, a ridiculous walk, and several seconds to seriously reconsider their life choices. Some enemies continue waddling even after turning back. Defector claims it is a psychological side effect. But he smiles far too suspiciously when he says it. The strangest part is that Defector never explains why it has to be penguins. One day, a young apprentice finally asked: “Master, why not a sheep? Why not a frog? Why always a penguin?” Defector stared at him. For a very long time. The next morning, the tribe had one more penguin. Nobody asked that question again. Defector also loves drums. He believes a proper rhythm makes shamanic magic stronger. So before every battle, he starts playing: BOOM. BOOM. BOOM-BOOM. Allies feel inspired. Enemies get nervous. Penguins start dancing. Nobody knows why. But it looks convincing. They say Defector once met the Penguin King. The King looked at the army of transformed warriors and asked: “Why do you keep sending these people here?” Defector replied: “Reinforcements.” Diplomatic relations have been tense ever since. Despite his age, Defector is absolutely convinced he is still in his prime. Whenever his allies suggest that he should rest, he says: “I’m still young.” Then spends five minutes looking for his staff. It is usually in his hand. But on the battlefield, Defector becomes serious. Because he understands the most important rule of Autochess: It doesn’t matter how expensive the enemy unit is. It doesn’t matter how many items they have. It doesn’t matter whether they are two-star or three-star. If they are a penguin — they are a penguin. His greatest dream is to transform the entire enemy team at the same time. Not even to win. He just wants to watch ten penguins simultaneously trying to understand what happened. Purchase quote: “You bought a shaman. Penguins are included for free.” Entering battle: “Alright… who wants to become cuter today?” Using HEX: “Congratulations! You’re a penguin now.” When HEX hits a powerful enemy: “Legendary warrior? Strange-looking bird.” When HEX hits a weak enemy: “Hmm… barely any difference.” After defeating an enemy: “Next.” At low health: “The spirits tell me to retreat. I ignore them.” When sold: “You’ll regret this… while waddling.” At three stars: “The gods are silent because my drum is louder than any temple.” And Defector’s most important rule: “If magic can’t solve the problem — you simply haven’t turned it into a penguin yet.”